


The Chanyeol Calendar

by roseflavored



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Attempt at Humor, General ignorance about frat terms and practices, M/M, Penis Measuring, platonic blowjobs, platonic handjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-01 20:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19185298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseflavored/pseuds/roseflavored
Summary: "We’re already half-naked in these calendars. If we ‘went where no other E-X-O calendar has gone before,’ we’d pretty much have our dicks out.”This year, Chanyeol's in charge of the annual E-X-O calendar, a project featuring the fraternity's finest in various states of undress. As a potential candidate for next year's presidency, he has to make this the most successful calendar in frat history. Chanyeol has some ideas.





	The Chanyeol Calendar

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd. welcome to my super self indulgent frat au.

“What’s the name of this thing gonna be again?”

“The Chanyeol Calendar.”

“Right. ‘Cause that’s not narcissistic at all.”

Chanyeol's been waiting for Photoshop to download on his laptop for the past twenty minutes, the slow loading bar taunting him. 'That's what you get for downloading me off Reddit,' it seems to say, mocking him as the estimated wait time jumps from ten minutes to thirty. Chanyeol makes a frustrated noise and leans back in his computer chair. "Okay well when you make your calendar, you can name it whatever you want."

"I will," Sehun says from Chanyeol's bed, "I'm gonna call it like. The Hun-genda. Hun-dar?"

"Those are stupid."

"Better than 'The Chanyeol Calendar,'" Sehun rolls over onto his side to face Chanyeol, eyes still trained on his Nintendo Switch. "Seriously man, no one's gonna buy this shit with your name all over it. Half the campus doesn't even know who you are. This isn't high school."

"Okay first of all," Chanyeol points a finger at Sehun, "everyone knows who I am. Second of all," he continues, choosing to ignore Sehun mouthing the word 'delusional' while Chanyeol talks, "it doesn't matter if half the campus buys it, or if even less than that buys it. All that matters is that at the end of the day, the money this makes is going towards a good cause." Chanyeol ends with a satisfied smile.

It's all partially true—!00% of the proceeds are going to a local charity and, in a show of generosity, several alumni have pledged to match whatever the project ends up making. So it doesn't matter too much whether or not a lot of people end up buying the calendar, seeing as how the fraternity will be presenting the charity a pretty hefty check at the end of the semester regardless.

Except, it does matter how many people end up buying the calendar. To Chanyeol at least.

”You should be more invested in this thing, Sehun. You’re like, the co-chair for this project.”

Sehun scoffs. “Only because you randomly signed me up for it when Minseok asked you if anybody would be joining you for this shit. Like seriously dude, on the one day I was sick and couldn’t get out of bed.”

”Uh, you couldn’t get out of bed because you thought it’d be a good idea to drown yourself in a kiddie pool of jungle juice. Don’t blame me for your debauchery.”

”Whatever you say, President,” Sehun says, entirely focused on his game of Mario Kart. Chanyeol snorts at the title, but bites back a grin regardless.

Their current president is set to graduate in the spring, and Chanyeol's a shoo-in for the spot. Especially considering several brothers just happened to drop out of the race the second Chanyeol announced he'd be running. And why shouldn't he? He's rich, well-connected, does well in all his classes, and is sexy as hell to boot. Add in the fact that his big is Junmyeon Kim, current president, beloved by all, and there’s just no way Chanyeol would lose.

But it’s not the election that Chanyeol’s concerned with, no.

Every year, E-X-O do several fundraising events for charity—the annual sexy shirtless calendar being one of them—and they’re always major successes. Their “Pies for Pups” event last year was a smash hit—turns out there are a lot of people out there just itching to pie a frat bro in the face. Who knew? They had Junmyeon to thank for all that; before Junmyeon took over, the frat coasted by on its legacy. Junmyeon took E-X-O and shaped it into something worthy of that legacy.

If Chanyeol’s well-connected, then Junmyeon’s a goddamn philanthropist, able to call up brothers and alumni from chapters across the country to chip in and help. If Chanyeol’s doing well in his classes, then Junmyeon’s a fucking genius, capable of balancing a million fraternity related tasks on top of maintaining a high GPA.

So yeah, Chanyeol had some pretty big shoes to fill. Hence why when Vice President Minseok discussed plans for the calendar at their last chapter meeting, Chanyeol eagerly jumped up and requested to be put in charge of it.

”Oh, fucking finally,” Chanyeol says when the program finishes downloading.

”Do you even know how to use Photoshop?” Intrigued, Sehun puts his game down to sit up and look over at Chanyeol’s screen.

”No, but YouTube tutorials exist, so,” Chanyeol replies, immediately opening it up and playing around with the features.

”Can’t wait to hang up my new calendar full of explosion effects and poorly shopped pics of dogs with swords.” When Chanyeol doesn’t reply, lost in thought as he idly clicks on the different brushes, Sehun looks at him seriously. “Please tell me that wasn’t what you were planning on doing.”

”What? No. Shut up. I’m thinking.”

”That’s new.”

”Shut up.” Chanyeol can practically hear Sehun rolling his eyes as the younger flops back onto the bed.

”What’s there to even think about? It’s a calendar. Make the brothers put on the rental costumes, point the camera and shoot, slap something together, profit.” Sehun covers his eyes with his arm, most likely intent on napping in Chanyeol’s room while he goes to class later. “The sorority chicks’ll buy anything with Minseok’s arms on it.”

”And mine,” Chanyeol interjects, “but it’s not _just_ a calendar. I need this to do at least a hundred times better than any other calendar E-X-O have put out before. I need this calendar to go where no other E-X-O calendar has even dreamed of going before. I need this calendar to kick every other calendar in the nuts.”

”So you can impress Junmyeon?”

”No,” Chanyeol’s quick to say. “Okay, yes. But also no. No and yes.”

”And how’re you gonna do that, genius. We’re already half-naked in these calendars. If we ‘went where no other E-X-O calendar has gone before,’ we’d pretty much have our dicks out.”

Chanyeol’s hand freezes in place, fingering hovering above the trackpad, a lightbulb flickering on and off in his head before it finally shines so bright it’s practically beaming out of his ears. Slowly, he turns his head towards Sehun’s direction.

Blissfully unaware, Sehun continues to lay on Chanyeol’s queen sized bed, possibly mentally whining about how unfair it was for Chanyeol to get his own room when Sehun pays the same amount of rent only to be stuck with two disgusting roommates.

”Sehun, you stupid, beautiful mastermind,” Chanyeol whispers.

Finally, Sehun looks at Chanyeol and sits up a little, suddenly fearful of the look on the other’s face. “What- what are you-”

”I know how we’re gonna kick every other calendar in the nuts now. And it’s all thanks to you.” Chanyeol’s face hurts, and he realizes it’s because he’s smiling so much. His left eye is twitching.

Sehun’s fully up against the wall now. “No fucking way,” he whispers.

”Yes way, Sehun,” Chanyeol nods as everything falls into place right before his very eyes. “We’re getting our dicks out for E-X-O.”

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter.](https://twitter.com/suhoneydew) updates will be attempted weekly, but keep in mind that i'm writing this for fun so it's not really a top priority >< kudos/comments are always appreciated~


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